Thought process.
My life isn’t horrible. That much I know. I own a house with my husband, we have five loving felines, we have good health insurance to deal with our chronic conditions, and my writing career is slowly taking off.
When anxiety and depression take over, my life feels out of control – I have no control over feelings created from the past, the present, or the future. Yet, I know that others throughout my life have more concerns, more worries. The thought that things could be worse keeps me from letting the anxiety and depression take over my body completely.
Recently, however, I realized that this may not be the best thought process. A co-worker helping me through yet another panic attack at our place of employment, someone who has many more troubles from my perspective, encouraged me to acknowledge that my problems DO matter even though they may not be outwardly apparent.
Rachel needs a break, is what she said. I’ve been trying to figure out what that means for me. Just because I don’t have a major crisis in my life doesn’t mean that the anxiety and depression that dominate my days are any less important. If I don’t deal with this NOW, I’ll just fall back into the same old pattern where life seems good for awhile, then all the bad feelings start creeping back in.
Rachel needs a break from feelings of guilt, feelings of inadequacy, feelings of sadness. Not only does my mental health depend on it now, but so does my physical health.
Filed under: Anxiety, Seasonal Affective Disorder | 3 Comments
Yeah I can relate as I often feel that my issues are not that important considering I have a roof over my head, I am in good health, and I have money coming in. All the rest of my stupid crap which matters to me, matters to no one else, and my feelings aren’t important… blah blah blah.
While I’m not a fan of Dr. Phil, there was an excerpt from a book he wrote that I really liked. Say you’re in hospital room with a broken foot, and the guy next to you has cancer. Just because his problem may be worse than yours that doesn’t make your foot hurt less. MD
I’m pretty sure I understand these feelings, as I feel that way, too. I think it is brave of you to voice your thoughts and feelings and to try and honor them, regardless of where they’re coming from.
Saying that other people have it worse doesn’t really take away the pain or depression you’re feeling, it only makes you feel worse, like you’re complaining about trivialities, which is NOT the case.
I remember chiding myself a while back for being jealous of a woman’s insulin pump after finding out she had cancer and was going through Chemo. I felt like such an ass, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that I really do want a pump and am struggling with this disease. I may not have cancer, but that doesn’t mean my feelings about living with this disease are worthless.
Thanks for sharing your story!